So here is the thing...

Leighton walked down the halls of the school, in search of a certain room, with a certain someone. The private quartes of Ryan Porter. Her boyfriend. Her close to everything in her life. But something was eating at her. Not exactly in a bad way, more like in a... I should have really told him by now... Kind of way. It was not bad news, but she had been feeling the need to tell him the relationship that had thrown her off course with her past relationships until now, and she was not going to let it get in the way. Maybe if she told him though, their relationship may take a turn for the worse. She bit her lip and stopped in her tracks. She couldn't take that. Not from him. Not now. Not ever. But what if she didn't tell him? Would it eat at her constantly?

Frowning to herself, she pushed her body to move forward to his door. She couldn't back down. It was already bad enough that she had been holding it off this long, but, any longer? Colateral damage could be done if never siad at all, but there was also the damage that could be done now. It scared her... terrified her. It wasn't a great deal of information, but it could be just the right information to have all that they had worked on... blow up in her face. Turning back and starting to walk away. No, she didn't want to see all that deminish.

Sighing, she stopped in her tracks and turned around. Indecisive right now, but she was torn, though for ridiculous as well as good reason. Stopping in front of his door, gulping and holding her fisted hand up, she sighed. Fixing her pencil skirt and blouse, she blinked. Should she? Should she do it? Or should she just walk away? Forget her past and keep it to herself? Clenching her teeth, she shook her head and put a smile on her face, knocking on the door. Well here we go.

Ryan laid across his couch, staring up at the ceiling as he listened to the silence around him. He hadn't seen his beautiful girlfriend in a couple of days now, and it was honestly the hardest thing he had to deal with. Not seeing her gorgeous, smiling face every day of his life. That woman was nearly his everything in life, and he didn't have any problems with admitting that anymore. Back when they'd first started dating, he'd always strayed away from that particular seriousness and level of commitment. But as he'd grown to learn everything about Leighton, from her likes and dislikes, to all her small quirks and habits, he knew she was nearly perfect for him. And while their relationship had been relatively drama free and nothing but passion and happiness.. he had yet to tell her about a huge chunk of his life. It wasn't because he was trying to hide anything from her.. she basically knew everything but that. He just hated speaking of it. But now that they were so serious.. he wasn't sure if he could keep it from her anymore.

Part of him was terrified of what she'd think, and he didn't want her opinion to change of him. Not that he thought it would.. but what if it destroyed what they had? What if she got angry with him for not having told her sooner? He ran a hand through his hair in a slightly stressed way. Ever since Isabelle had returned and he'd seen her a few times, the guilt of not telling Leighton about her had just continued to mount. Higher and higher and higher.. until now, where it was at it's breaking point. He decided with difficulty that he would tell her sometime soon.. when he got enough courage to allow it to just spill out. While his thoughts continued to fight with each other in his mind, he eventually felt his heavy eyelids slipping closed.. and soon, he was gone in a deep slumber.

He was awakened by a sudden tapping sound coming from the general area of the door, and he squinted around for a moment before he realized that the tapping... was really in fact someone knocking. Blinking a few more times to help himself wake up, he yawned before rolling over and pushing himself up. He was sure his hair was slightly tousled, and his dress shirt was unbuttoned so his chest was showing. His tie was loosened and his belt was undone.. standing up he secured the belt again, forgetting about his shirt momentarily as he sauntered toward the door, wondering who it could possibly be. Beginning to button up his shirt somewhat lazily, he paused in order to reach out and open the door. Seeing who it was there though, he gave her a half-smile, still a bit sleepy from his nap. "Oh.. hey, beautiful." He said, stopping his movements of trying to button up his shirt when he saw who it was. "Sorry, I fell asleep." He said a bit sheepishly, gesturing to his appearance.

He peered up into her face for a moment, allowing his eyes to meet hers. After a moment, something seemed to shift in his brain.. disregarding the smile, his head tilted to the side a bit. "Hey.. what's wrong?" He said softly, holding the door open so she could come in.

Leighton was holding her breath. After a couple of days of seeing Ryan, was it really the best option to finally see him and tell him what she dreaded to think of? He was her everything. Her air, her life, her love. Not hard to admit in the least. Their relationship was peachy keen. There was little that seemed to even remotely indicate something bad wrong with the relationship. Passion, happiness, love. That was how things were going, but what if what she had to say would take that all away? Take away her world, her love, her life? It was eating at her more than she thought. She bit back the urge to cry at the sudden thought of them no longer being together. It seemed so... wrong for that to happen. That their love should go away. That they would go back to painfully broken people who covered it up with pointless relationships and sex.

In the short moment she stood there, she felt the need to run and leave and just avoid all of this. But that would not get anywhere. He knew everything about her, literally. Her past, her family, her quirks, her peeves. What is one thing like this? A past love whom she was married to that she sees off and on around the school? As the door was pulled open, she smiled softly at his appearance. "Hey handsome," she stated softly in response as she looked him over. She shook her head. "Sleep is always nice," Leigh retorted with a slight giggle.

Hide it! Hide the clear need to say something improtant. She was yelling in her mind. Why? Because she didn't want to get hurt from telling him. She blinked a few times at his question. "Uh..." she managed at first before walking in. Standing slightly awkwardly, she turned around and folded her arms, a slight... distressed look on her face, even though she tried to hide it. "There is... something I have wanted to tell you. I wouldn't exactly deam it as bad... just something I want you to know, since it's the only thing I haven't told you..." She sighed. This was odd... feeling like this...

Ryan leaned against the door slightly for support, chuckling slightly when he heard Leighton giggling after looking him over. "Well yes, it is nice.." He agreed, giving her a slight grin as he rubbed his fingers along his chin and jawline, and then along the back of his neck. "Seeing you is even nicer." He said with a wink, closing the door behind her after she wandered inside. He'd heard her hesitating after asking her what was wrong, and his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. What could possibly be bothering her? It could be anything of course, but he was anxious to know. Mostly because throughout their entire relationship, very few times had he seen the brief look of discomfort in her eyes. His gaze ran down the length of her body, taking in the slightly awkward stance, and the way she was folding her arms once she'd turned to him. That sort of body language was what someone did when they were closing themselves off from someone, and he could feel a frown forming on his face. It grew when his attention landed back on her face and he caught the distressed look. Ok.. something was definitely not right. His first instinct was to close the distance between them and give her a hug and a kiss after being apart for a couple of days, but now he wasn't so sure.

His head tilted to the side again as he listened to her talking, and he could feel his stomach beginning to slosh around a bit uneasily. "Well.. alright.." He mused unsurely, but his own thoughts from before his nap were suddenly crashing into him full force. "I.. I actually have something I want to tell you too." He admitted, but was soon shaking his head. Stepping forward he gave her a gentle, sweet peck on the lips before his hand found her lower back, beginning to guide her toward the couches. "But I'll let you go first.. because I want to know what's bothering you." He said quietly, taking a seat on the couch and waiting for her to do the same. But now he was worried.. she said it hadn't been bad, but she never looked distressed just for nothing. He watched her quietly, trying his best to keep calm and not appear nervous or uneasy. Not to mention now he had practically set himself up for having to tell her about Isabelle.. oh, geez.

Leighton smiled and nodded. It was nice to see him. It always was, and she hoped that would not change. "I could say the same to you," she winked back before she hearing the door close as she walked in. Her heart beat fastened and she bit her bottom lip again. It was nothing like what she planned. Telling him. Maybe... would it... if it was going to hurt... would it hurt less if they weren't so serious about each other? That they had told each other casually at the begining when they hadn't fallen in love? As she turned around, she could see the anxiousness in his eyes. Even if the expression was not on his face, she knew better. They were both masters as covering their pain, but that was hard to do with the eyes. They screamed what they felt, and she could tell that what she had to tell him was putting him slightly at unease. It kind of pained her. To see that she was causing such feelings to him. The way her body was posed was so... closed off. It felt wrong to feel so closed off, especially to the man who she had given her all for.

She heard the unsureness in his voice as he replied. She wanted to hug him and tell him sorry and that she was lying. That she had nothing to say, to just let this weird, awkward moment pass. Grasping onto her arm tighter as he said he had something to tell her, she merely blinked. Was this how he was feeling? Slightly scared and anxious? It was not something she was fond of. Closing her eyes slightly, she felt his lips against hers from a soft peck and she gave a faint, soft smile. Walking with him to the couches, she sighed. She didn't know if she should sit. Her body felt the need to burn the anxiousness and pace. Nodding her head, she let out a sigh. How was she going to start? What could she say? this was all a lot more difficult than she liked it. "Right," she replied softly as she finally decided after a couple of minutes to sit down.

Tapping her finger against her exposed leg, she looked down. Man she was making this seem a lot more horrible than she wanted to make it look like. No. It wasn't even horrible news. Seriously. All it was was going to be her telling him that she was married for a couple of years to a guy that she loved... something went wrong.. and now here she was.. That's all. Okay, she did see him every now and again. But still. Plus, she was actually quite curious as to what he had to say. "I... I was married..." she stated, looking up at him, waiting for his reaction.

Ryan shifted around on the couch a bit, merely because he didn't know what else to do. So far Leighton had seemingly decided she'd rather not take a seat, and his anxiety of what she could possibly be having to tell him was growing by the second. For a brief moment he wondered if maybe she'd decided that what they had, she didn't want anymore and she was here to pull the plug. Just the mere thought of it left him feeling sick, and so he quickly fought the bothersome thoughts off. No, she wouldn't be here to do that.. at least he hoped not. He hadn't yet verbally told her, but he knew he'd fallen in love with her. Without a single doubt it his mind, he knew he loved the woman standing in front of him. Seeing her distressed over something pained him, because he wanted to be able to take that feeling away from her. All he wanted was her to always be happy, and while he was aware that wasn't always possible.. he did his best to make her happy as frequently as he could. Finally she sat down and he turned his body slightly so he could look at her. He didn't make any movements to hold her hand or put his arm around her though, because she seemed stressed enough. While he wasn't sure why, he decided it was probably best to keep his distance, until he knew what was the cause of her acting the way she was.

He didn't offer any sort of comfort or even any input of words, knowing sooner or later Leighton would get straight to the point. Yet when she did... he blinked, not sure if he'd heard her correctly. While part of him felt relieved that that was all she'd had to tell him, and it had nothing to do with their relationship ending.. another part of him felt.. well, he wasn't sure. It wasn't anything good though. "....Married?" He repeated after a moment, almost dumbly. He turned his body away from her, trying to process the information. While his story included something along the lines of marriage as well... "Married." This time, it wasn't a question, more of a statement. Exhaling heavily his gaze fell to the ground, which he proceeded to stare at as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How long?" He wasn't sure how he was feeling at the exact moment. Knowing the woman he was in love with had been married... did it really change things? Yes and no. She was here with him now, so why would it matter? He just wasn't sure, but something about the entire thing felt, well.. not right.

Leighton sighed and looked away from his reation. It was... well painful to see such a handsome face when she could possible be hurting him. Married... It was odd that she was to begin with, which always made her wonder... but now she was telling the man she loved that she had been with someone else in such a committed relationship. Not that she had verbally told him that, but nevertheless her feelings for him were strong. Which was why this made it even more painful. She only wanted to be married once, and Ryan... He was a perfect man, and she could only imagine being with him, but being married already once before seemed to taint the possible thought of being married... again. She nodded her head as he questioned it. Surprising to hear she figured. Clenching her teeth, she kept her eyes from glancing over at him.

She felt his body shift on the couch, and giving the slightest glance, she realized that it was away from her. Blinking a few times, she wondered what he was thinking. Would this ruin their relationship? The fact that she was married once before? Of course even through all they knew of each other, why would they let this ruin them? It was in the past, and this was now, and they had their future to look forward too. If they even had one after this that is. She was taken back as he asked how long. Closing her eyes, she sighed. "Three and a half years, married at least..." she replied. She didn't want to lie, but the truth right now seemed that much more damaging. How was he taking this? What was he feeling? Whould he even want to deal with her because of this fact? Her thoughts were all over the place and she frowned, choking back the urge to cry from the thought of losing him.

The more Ryan thought about it, the more he couldn't really imagine the Leighton he knew ever being in a relationship that had been so serious that she'd actually been.. married. It just didn't seem like something she would do, or even something she was interested in. Married life.. just didn't seem like something that would appeal to her. And yet she had been, for how long he was yet to know. Maybe it had been a fleeting thing, a wrong choice, something... he didn't even bother glancing in her direction when he heard the words three and a half years. Not to mention the part "married at least." He could feel his heart sinking slowly downward as he processed the words. He knew it shouldn't matter, that this was in the past and that he had her now. But still.. it wasn't a very comforting thought, knowing that his everything had been so serious with another man. And if it had been her first love... he sort of assumed it was true when they said that those feelings never truly died completely. And then there was the fact that being married once, she probably wouldn't want it again.. "How.. how long were you with him, in total? Why did it end?" He wasn't sure why he felt like he had to know these things. The more he knew, the more it sort of pained him. But he had to know. But after a second, his eyes finally made their way to her face. His expression was mostly emotionless though. "Please.. tell me everything." It was all he said, but he knew she'd understand. He wanted to hear the whole story about it.. why, he didn't know. Maybe for some sort of closure.. or maybe just to understand better.

Or maybe he was just prolonging the fact that it was growing closer and closer to the part where he had to tell Leighton about Isabelle... something he'd really, really rather not do.

Leighton didn't want to open her mouth anymore. To pain the man she so effortlessly loved with all her heart. It was not something she wanted to do.. Getting married. Nor was it Tyler's, but nevertheless, it happened. They agreed to it, even if it was not truly wanted. She wanted to take it back. She wanted to go back in time and smack herself for being so... foolishly in love... It wasn't even love.. for the most part, it was lust and being caught up in each other so much that they didn't care what they did, so long as they were together. Clenching her teeth harder, she felt a tear escape and roll down her face. She was angry at herself for all that had happened with that relationship with Tyler. That she was so stupid to even gotten married. To have 'loved' him. No... she didn't regret it... because without that time.. she probably would have never found Ryan, but her anger did not seem to deminish. He was her first on all accounts, except love. That is one thing she could give Ryan, that she had only fallen for one man... and that man was him.

Wiping away the extra tears that had involuntarily escapped quickly and dicretely, she blinked a few times over to make sure that it didn't look like any tears had fallen at all. He questioned her, she felt her heart strain. She looked to him for a quick moment, taking in his emotionless features, which made her not want to say anything. Cut out her tongue now? Perhaps that was a good idea. "Everything?" she whispered before looking down at her hands. "Alright. I was in a relationship with Tyler Richardson... it started about... the last month of my seventh year. We kind of had an odd relationship. Not exactly healthy, from the stand point that we were kind of sadistic to each other. Playing with each other, which only made it all the more fun... though stupid now that I think about it.." she shook her head and closed her mouth. "We were together two years before we got hitched. It was more of a forced marriage I guess. I love my father... but he really didn't understand the fact that we did not love each other. We lusted each other..." Stupid to admit. Why couldn't she just be the one listening to him now? She sounded stupid.

Looking at Leighton, Ryan had to strain a bit to see if she was actually crying when he noticed her wiping away at something on her cheeks. He couldn't decide if he'd been seeing things, yet just the thought of his girlfriend crying was enough to make his heart feel like it was being stabbed. He had the urge to reach out and pull her into his arms, kiss her and tell her that it didn't matter. That was the past, and this was now. But he remained where he was, looking back at her the moment she looked up. It was so hard to keep himself from looking emotionless, when he was feeling so many different things inside. From the pain, to the confusion, to the desire, to the longing and to the love he couldn't bring himself to admit to her. Not to mention the looming hurdle that he still had to manage to leap over when he explained Isabelle to Leighton. He wasn't sure how that was going to go, because whenever he spoke of it.. it was hard. Because Isabelle had been his everything, the first woman he'd fallen for (or so he thought). Thinking now, he knew he'd loved Isabelle, but not to the degree that he loved Leighton. His love for his girlfriend surpassed the levels he'd been stuck at with Isabelle, that much he was positive of. It didn't make the situation he'd dealt with any more easy, though.

He nodded slightly when she whispered, although for a second he wished he could just change his mind and tell her not to tell him. He hated seeing her looking like this.. but then she was talking and he found that his curiosity just wouldn't allow him to tell her to stop. He glanced back down to the floor as she explained the situation to him, not saying a word or even moving much the entire time. Once she got to the end, saying they lusted each other... he eventually allowed his eyes to make it back to her. He watched her for a long while, before he was exhaling heavily, shifting in his seat a bit. "Thank you for telling me." He said finally, his voice slightly monotone. "So.. let me see if I'm understanding." He paused, not exactly wanting to re-think what he'd just heard, but forcing himself to anyhow. "Had a relationship for two years. But you were never in love with one another.. forced into marriage. If you didn't love him.." He decided not to finish the thought. He was going to believe her when she said that love hadn't been apart of that. He was going to trust she wouldn't lie to him about it, because he knew he'd rather hear the hurtful truth anyhow, then have her lie to him. "Do.. do you see him anymore?" He wasn't sure why he asked, because he was pretty sure the answer wasn't going to make him happy. Because if their connection (even if lustful) had been the way it was then.... now.... he shook his head quickly.

He knew that after this, Leighton would be asking him about Isabelle. And honestly, he knew he wasn't ready.. but it was now or never. It wasn't bad, it was in the past like Leighton's. Except the situation was just slightly more different.. and each time the story was told... he exhaled. This was going to be a difficult situation, indeed.

Leighton furrowed her brows and formed a not so happy look on her face. She kept her face turned away from him though. She didn't want to direct her angered features at him when all he did was listen. No, if anything, he anger was at her. For telling Ryan, for doing it all in the first place. Sure she liked Tyler, and there will always be that part of her with him and adore him, but nothing what she felt for Tyler was even worth looking into because she felt so much more for Ryan. She loved him. Loved him... Though it seemed that even with that love, their situation was not going to get better suddenly, let alone easily from what she could tell. It was killing her, seeing him so... emotionless. It was painful because the front he put on was cold and what was on the inside... there was so much more. Such struggle through feelings, because she felt it too, but she was not hiding her emotion, though she wish she was. She felt ridiculous looking sad and crying one moment then the next pissed off.

Sighing, she nodded, or she hoped it was nod as she moved her head to his first statement. After he spoke, she felt the need to justify herself, even though she knew he believed her, or at least she hoped he did. "I didn't love him... at least to the extent to marry him. We never had a steady relationship as it was... which made it that much harder after we married. I don't understand why it had lasted as long as it did... no... because half the time we were apart because I threw him out and didn't get to the papers..." She was tempted to tell him of the abuse part, but she passed over it as he asked if she saw him. Even as bad as their relationship had gotten, they found that they were good as friends, so they left it at that. "I do see him... I mean I have seen him, just nothing too long, or even really worth mentioning. It's just... hard being around him.." she paused, though bit her lip, that sounded wrong, she had to fix that. "I mean he wants me back... and I don't want him," she admitted, shaking her head then hanging it sadly.

Opening her mouth, she was tempted to ask about what he had to say, but she wanted to get over this... or at least finish her stupid past memory befor talking about what he had to say. Though she hoped it would not be something too bad or heartwrenching... Hopefully.

Ryan could tell from the look on Leighton's face that she was clearly unhappy, and he hated it. He couldn't bring himself to show his emotions like she was though. He liked them where they were, inside where only he knew about them and no one else, even if it was hard to hide them from her. He wasn't proud of what he was doing, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to show her how much the situation was actually bothering him. He didn't want to seem jealous, distrusting, or upset with her when in reality he wasn't. He was upset, but it wasn't because of her, it was just because of the situation. Of course he would have liked to have known about it sooner, but in a way he didn't blame her for waiting as long as she did.. because it was the same when it came to himself and Isabelle. He wasn't angry with her in the least, and he hoped she knew that, even if he wasn't exactly showing it. He just didn't want his emotions to be taken the wrong way, and the best way he knew how to deal with them was by keeping them to himself. Leighton on the other hand seemed sad, upset, and slightly angry if he wasn't mistaken, and while it pained him to see her in such a state, he couldn't bring himself to do anything to comfort her. Not yet, anyhow.. not when so much was making it's way through his slightly crammed mind.

Folding his hands together he leaned forward to lean his elbows on his kneecaps, bringing his two touching hands to his forehead lightly. He was listening to her almost as attentively as any one person could, even if it didn't appear like he was. He knew she'd know he was listening though, and his eyes slid closed for a moment as he heard her beginning to speak again. He winced a bit although he tried to hide it at the first sentence. He realized that he wasn't her first relationship (obviously), naturally she would have been in others and had feelings for them. He knew that what made this different to him though was the fact that she'd been married to him, and for quite a while for how young she'd been. He continued to say nothing when she spoke of throwing him out, and never getting the papers signed.. didn't sound like a very appealing marriage to him, not at all. He was almost tempted to ask her why they didn't get along, and why they spent so much time apart, but he chose not to. It wasn't really much of his business, and besides, if she'd wanted to tell him she would have. His arms flexed as his muscles tensed when she said that she did see him, but that it was hard being around him. Not something he really wanted to hear.. at all. If anything, it made him feel physically ill. Until she corrected herself, but even then.... he took a deep breath as he tried to keep himself calm. He wanted to believe Leighton with all his heart when she said she didn't want him back. But how could he go up against an ex-husband? Not that he'd ever doubted himself before..

After a long while, he sat up straight again, placing his hands away from his face and opening his eyes, which he allowed to drift toward her face. He shifted his weight on the couch a bit, trying to figure out what exactly would be a fitting thing to say. He was upset, he wasn't going to deny that. And he was pretty sure the emotion was slowly beginning to leak into his eyes, as much as he didn't want it to. After a moment he tentatively slid his hand across the couch before hesitantly taking her smaller palm into his. "I trust you, Leighton.. but if he does anything at all..." He didn't bother finishing his sentence, instead settling for shaking his head. If that man so much as looked at Leighton the wrong way, and he knew he wouldn't hesitate in saying something about it. Leighton meant everything to him, and he would be damned if he let anyone do any wrong to her. "I'm just warning you now." He said simply, glancing down toward their hands as he gently laced their fingers together. "Anything else you need to tell me?" He didn't look up at her as he said this, wondering if she in fact did. Wouldn't that be just interesting. He knew he didn't look or sound very happy, but he couldn't help it. Just holding her hand was making him feel a sliver better, though.

Leighton was trying... as far as trying she could, to keep her emotions from spilling out all over her face. Though it was clearly failing. But with every fleeting glance she had towards Ryan, he seemed to be emotionless. Not that she did not pick up the emotion in his tone of voice, but it kind of hurt that he seemed to look unphased. She wished she didn't look like a fool. Or at least feel like one. Perhaps she was far too focused to realize that he wasn't angry with her, but she felt like he was. She still contemplated whether or not she should have told him... It pained her to see that he was upset, that much she was sure of, which only made her want to take it all back. Causing pain to someone she loved so much killed her inside.She yearned for the comfort of his touch again. To simply hold his hand, hold his body close. But neither of them seemed to get the far, and it didn't look like Leighton planned on moving.. at least yet.

She bit her lips as she sat there in the defening silence after she spoke. It seemed like hours before he even spoke. She didn't want to admit such... abuse. He didn't need to know that. He was already pissed off enough as it was.. and even though Tyler was a 'freind' now... she didn't want to completely cut him out of her life.. at least... not until she felt the need to. She slightly winced... not in pain, but to see that seeing Tyler did have an effect on Ryan. She wanted him to know that she never planned on going back to him. No matter the situation of their past, it was the past and they had their fun. There was nothing for them... not now, not ever. She hoped he believed her, and she would show him that, no matter what it took.

Hearing his voice almost made her jump. It seemed foreign through the silence. And when his hand touched hers, she felt her heart beat jump. She was felling... still upset at herself and the situation... but his touch was comforting, even if it was small. Gently squeezing his hand, she shook her head. "I believe you... If he does anything, I will make sure to tell you," she stated coolly and oddly, more calmly than she thought she would. She sighed in slight relief, but remembered he had something to tell her, which made her furrow her brows quickly then make a calm expression befall her face. "I have nothing else to add.." she mused before biting her lip... wondering if she should ask him what he wanted to say. Letting out a heavy breath, she finally decided to speak again after a moment. "What was it that you wanted to tell me?" she inquired curiously as she finally managed to let her eyes look at his face.

Ryan felt her squeezing his hand, and he gave it a small squeeze in return, his grip tightening slightly as the seconds ticked by. He felt guilty for not having started comforting her sooner, when he normally would have. He knew it was because of the subject, but even then he felt as if he shouldn't have been quite so insensitive.. too late now. He had a hard time dealing with his emotions, particularly the negative ones. He understood that Leighton was his girlfriend, the person who meant the most to him in life, the woman he loved with all of his heart but had yet to tell her... he understood that he could bare everything for her to see and that she'd be okay with it. It was just hard for him to understand that after being used to keeping it all to himself and coping with it that way. He didn't like Leighton seeing him weak, he didn't like her seeing him like this at all, but he was glad it was her that was a witness to this and not anyone else. He trusted her more then he thought he'd ever be able to trust someone again, and while this entire situation was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for him.. he was dealing with it accordingly for her. She deserved that from him, she deserved everything he could ever give her and more. And that was exactly what he planned on trying to do for her, even if it were extremely hard on his part. She meant far too much to him for him to ever lose her, especially not to her ex-husband. No, he wouldn't let that happen. Ever, no matter what he had to do.

He glanced up when he heard her speaking, but nodded when she said she'd let him know if he tried anything. "Good." Was the only thing he said. He believed she would, but if he found out she didn't... he wasn't going to think about that now. His trust issues had been pretty strong lately, Leighton being the only one who had his full trust. That didn't mean it wasn't a bridge that could easily be destroyed though. He shook his head, disliking himself so much for even thinking like that. He loved his girlfriend, and he wasn't going to let this come between their amazing relationship. Nodding softly when she said she had nothing else to add, he then realized that meant... the spotlight was now on him. Immediately he felt his body language becoming slightly tense, and it only became worse when she questioned him. Holding onto her hand rather tightly or a moment, he tried to force himself to relax. He knew he wouldn't be able to do this if he thought of how to word it, so he decided he'd just have to blurt it out.. and fix however it sounded afterward. Staring at the floor he sat there silently, all the words bubbling up in his throat but he couldn't make them come out. He struggled for a few moments, before gritting his teeth together. This was so much more worse then what she had to say, he realized. How was he supposed to tell his girlfriend that he had a child? That situation was an entire mess in itself..... "I'm a father." The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them, and he could feel the color seeping into his cheeks when he realized the words were out. So why stop now? "I've been engaged before." He refused to look at her... she was probably looking at him with a look of such distaste. He couldn't bear to lose her, he knew he couldn't. But with information like that, he wasn't sure how he expected her not to freak.

Leighton was... to say the least, relieved and petrified. Relieved that she had finally told him what she had been wanting to tell him for a while now. Petrified, because she was afraid of what he had to say. No, she didn't doubt that it would be important, or he would have a different expression on his face. But the severity of what he had to tell her, and what it was. That was what terrified her. As the moments passed, she felt his hand tighten around hers and that caused her to panic slightly. Not expressed of course, or at least she hoped it wasn't expressed on her face. Letting out a silent sigh, she began wondering what he had to tell her. Somethings she thought seemed... nominal and unimportant and things that could be over come, but some... it made her heart wrench and nearly made her cry. The waiting was killing her, though in reality it had not even been that long. Perhaps a minute or so, but it seemed painfully longer. She wanted him to speek. Tell her what he had to say. She had to at least give him the chance when he did so for her. And even if what she was about to hear was not to her liking, she would have to at least try and not act rashly... because she could feel it coming on.

He loved her... with all her heart. He was her everything and it seemed so crazy that he was the only one who had seen this side of her. After she questioned him, his grip became tighter. And before long did the words come out of his mouth. Father? Engaged? Her teeth clenched and she suddenly pulled her hand away from his in anger. Though before she did anything else, she bit her lip and breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. "I am guessing it is the same woman, no? Who is she?" her once so lively voice was now so... dull and emotionless as she spoke. Her intention was not to sound so cold, but it seemed to have gotten the best of her. Turning her head completely away from him, she began to question. If the woman was in his life... his supposed to be wife... the nother of his child. How was she to compete with that? Someone whom she was going to assume was his first everything, and they had a tie... Was he to proceed and tell her that they were to bre... She couldn't even manage to finish off her thought before feeling more tears fall down her face. Thank goodness they were not an issue, at least yet...

Ryan wasn't sure what hit him first - the fact that he'd finally admitted to the secret he'd been keeping, or the fact that Leighton was yanking her hand away from him like she'd been burned. His stayed still and open for a moment, but then his fingers curled into a fist as he brought it back to his side, exhaling slowly before he dared a side-ways glance at her. Seeing the clenched teeth and the angry expression.. well, that wasn't a good start at all. He sort of figured it couldn't have been though, judging by how quick she'd pulled her hand away from him. He didn't say anything, mostly because he wasn't sure what he could even say. He didn't want to make the situation any worse then it already was, which was pretty bad.. he stared at the floor when he heard her exhale, although he winced as if he was in pain when he heard how dull and emotionless she sounded. Had he been the same way when it had come to her? If so, he felt guilty now for how bad it felt hearing it. "Yes.. same woman.." He hesitated before continuing. "Isabelle.. Isabelle Galeotti.." It was so hard for him to not look at her, but he didn't trust himself. Just hearing her voice was like a stake through the heart, he knew he wouldn't be able to take it if he saw her crying, and knowing it was because of him. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to glance in her direction though, because while it wasn't the most pleasant situation, he wanted to know what effect this was having on her, if any.

After a few more painfully silent moments, his eyes wandered in her direction. Her face was turned, not allowing him to see any sort of expression or emotion.. sitting back he ran a hand through his messy hair, his jaw clenching tightly. "Leighton, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't even know about this child until.." He trailed off, frustrated with the entire situation. "I've only known for about a month or two, and I'm not even completely sure if he's mine!" His voice was raising slightly, although he was doing his best to keep calm. But he couldn't lose her over this.. he just couldn't. And he was willing to spill out the entire story if it meant keeping her here with him. "Just.. let me explain, please." He needed to keep her here somehow, make her understand. He'd pour out everything if that was what she wanted, even if it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. He hated showing his weaknesses, hated expressing emotion this deep. But for her, he would, without a doubt. And that alone made him realize that much more how much he did love her.

Without waiting, he charged forward in the explanation, continuing not to look at her. "We met when I was fifteen, she was thirteen. I gave her a ring when I was eighteen and she was sixteen." He paused, knowing how odd it all sounded with them having been so young. "I thought.. I thought I'd found the one for me.." He gritted his teeth as he admitted this, the muscles in his arms flexing as he clenched and unclenched his fists. "She was my first "love", if you want to call it that. We were together five years before we walked down the aisle.." He paused for a breath. He knew he should continue with the story before Leighton could react, but this was the part he hated. The part that always seemed to effect him even when he wished it wouldn't. So even though he wished he could continue plowing forward, he sat in silence, trying to prep himself for the next set of the story, and for what reaction Leighton might have.

Leighton was so... she couldn't even form a thought on how she was feeling. Perhaps too many things to comprehend, but she was sure her face expressed the anger she was feeling. Perhaps her quick movement of pulling her hand away was cold, but she was not sure if she could continue to hold his hand as he continued to tell her about his situation. As she sat there waiting for the name, she left her teeth clenched and her face turned away. She was not going to let him see her angry, at least try and not let him see... and if it came to it... crying. Deep and strong emotions were not her strong suit whatsoever when bearing them, and she reverted back to the way she dealt with them. Hiding them, whether no expression, or turning away to hide it. As he spoke, she felt her body suddenly shoot up from the couch and stand there. Taking a step away from the couch, she turned her back to him. Maybe it was cold to do that, but she felt like she was stabbed. She met the woman. Interesting, but kind. Shaking her head, she gasped and covered her mouth. The thoughts that shot into her mind...

Breathing sharply, she tried to calm down, pushing the tear that was running down her face away as she listened to him try to explain. Sooner? Perhaps it would have hurt less then if he had done so. But she didn't care about that, she knew now, and she counted that better than some distant date. As he told her that he had only just found out and that he was not even sure it was his, she sneered behind her hand. The nerve... "She kept him from you?" she asked, keeping the anger she was feeling from seeping through her words and raising her voice. "Go on then," she merely whispered in response. Maybe it was a bad idea to want to know more. To know what happened, but her curious side was wanting to know, even if it was going to hurt her.

She stood there listening to him. It hurt hearing him say some of the things. Like that she was his first 'love'. She kept her mouth shut and let a few tears fall, wiping them away, until he stopped. Her brows pushed together as she ran the last thing he said through her head over and over. He was only engaged... so what happened? Turning toward him, blinking a few too many times to push back the tears, she looked down at him, her face expresing anger, sadness, and oddly... compassion. "What happened," she questioned him with a more kind tone, but she still sounded less than enthused. She had to try and keep her composure, even if it was killing her that she just wanted to scream and cry.

It didn't take long for Ryan to realize that Leighton was fighting with her emotions, because now he could see the anger on her face. Before, she'd been nearly emotionless and her tone had been cold. He knew she didn't want him to see her like this, but being observant it was sort of hard not for him to notice. He pressed his hands together and stared down at the floor, not knowing where else he could direct his eyes. All at once he heard her body rising from the couch and his attention shot to her, a look of panic crossing his face. No, she couldn't be leaving... he exhaled, his leg beginning to jiggle up and down nervously when he realized she had her back to him, her body looking tense and rigid. He heard her gasp and began to stand up, his expression a mixture of concern. "Leighton, what's wrong?" He reached out to touch her but immediately retracted his hand and forced it back down to his side, a pained look on his face. He hated that he was doing this to her, but he couldn't lie to her. He had to tell her the truth, because she deserved to know everything about him, even if he didn't want to tell her. He gritted his teeth together, looking back to the floor, feeling absolutely helpless. This entire situation, he fucking hated it. He wanted it to go away, he wanted his girlfriend in his arms. He didn't want this wedge being put in their relationship... "Yes. She kept him from me." He said flatly. Maybe she didn't believe him, but it was the truth. What more did she want from him?

He felt his breath hitching slightly when Leighton finally turned to him, and he could tell just by glancing at her face that she'd been crying. He felt his heart twisting in his chest and again he wanted to reach out to her, but he knew not to. He should have expected for her to ask what had happened... he looked away again, his fingers clenching and unclenching. Well, she deserved to know the rest.. "She left me. At the altar." His voice was dull, his face almost emotionless again. "After telling me she cheated on me.. and thats why I don't know if Nathan's mine.." He shook his head back and forth a bit. "Then she just.. left. And I never heard from her. I tried to find her, but..." He shrugged helplessly. "She showed up right before Christmas. Told me about it. Everything came rushing back to me.." He sighed heavily. "I've... seen her a few times since then..." He admitted. He wanted to tell her the rest. How she didn't have to worry, because he knew he loved her. But he couldn't find the courage. He was trying though. Because he wanted to let her know.

Leighton hated this. All of this. The way she was feeling. The way her words hurt him. The entire situation itself. It was painful to see what they were doing to each other. As she stood there, shaking her head, she frowned. She couldn't possibly have anything more wrong with her. No. She didn't. She just... didn't like the thoughts she had in her head from what he had said. Her mind was creative, which was a painful addition to the situation. She kept her mouth shut for him. There was nothing she was going to say. And there was not much she could say. It would not make anything better had she told him she had the smallest doubt pop into her mind. No... that would probably make things worse. Wiping away the tears from her blue eyes, she listened to his flat voice. She questioned him merely out of curiousity as to why she just now told him and she kept his possible son away from him. "Hm," was all she managed in a reply. Not her best answer, but with her building anger toward the situation... and toward the woman, she was not going to say anything that would make it worse.

As she looked at him for the first time in a while, she just felt the urge to hug him. Hold him tight and make all of this go away. But that was not going to change things. It wasn't going to change the fact that she was once married. It wasn't going to change the fact that he was engaged once and possibly has a kid. No... but of course they had to work through it... even if it seemed pretty impossible right now. Her features became bitter as he told her more. "That..." she whispered to herself, biting her tongue. It was out of character for her to bitterly call someone names, but it seemed like that was all that was forming when it came to Isabelle. Nathan... The kids name? It didn't seem too hit her until she head his name... "She wants you back, doesn't she?" Leighton asked emotionlessly, even if her facial features did scream a bitter wrath. Whether the woman did or not, she would inevitably be stuck being around if the kid was actually his. Then another thought popped in her mind. Even thouh Isabelle had hurt him.... did he want to get back with him? She felt her tears forming again, but this time, didn't stop them and didn't wipe them away.

Ryan didn't blame Leighton a single bit for acting the way she was. He'd been acting rather similarly when it came to her telling him about Tyler. He didn't like the fact that the two still spoke, but now he knew exactly how Leighton felt about him speaking to Isabelle. If Leighton so wished, he'd cut Isabelle out of his life completely. Not that he actually could now that they possibly had a child together, but if it would have been possible he probably wouldn't hesitate in doing it. Hearing Leighton's voice he looked back to her, and he blinked a couple of times before he seemed to process what she'd said. Did Isabelle want him back? It had been a possibility he'd considered before, but hearing Leighton asking him made him slip back into his thoughts without him even realizing it. If he looked at all of the signs, yeah. It was clear she wanted him back, and what her intentions were with showing up on his door step announced the last couple of times. Especially the last time, when she'd been dressed up in such a way that he knew what she'd been hoping to aim at.. he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb. "Yeah. I think she does." He muttered before his eyes focused back on her face. And when he saw the tears.. his heart felt like it was ripped in half and stabbed multiple times.

He knew it, now. That whether the timing was bad or not, he was going to tell her. He needed to, because he couldn't just sit here and watch her crying and knowing it had everything to do with him. "Leighton. Please don't cry.. you have nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing." His voice was coming out in a rush, but he was almost fearful that if he didn't get the words out quick enough, she might vanish before he had the chance. "I thought I loved her, I honestly did. But now that I have you.." He paused, struggling with himself for a moment. But taking the leap of faith he stepped closer to her, reaching out to cup her face in either of his hands. His thumbs began softly stroking the soft skin of her cheeks, trying to wipe her tears away. "Leighton. I love you. I love you so much that I can't stand seeing you like this. I thought I loved her, but now I realize it was nothing but infatuation. Because what I feel for you is so much more stronger then what I ever did for her.." He shook his head. "I don't want anyone but you. You're perfect in every single way, and I'm not going to let her come between us. I realize this isn't the ideal time to tell you, but.." He leaned in and gave her a soft, gentle kiss on the lips before he pulled away a fraction again, repeating his earlier words. "I love you, beautiful. With all of my heart. And please believe me when I say that." His voice was whispered, because now he realized what he'd just admitted. The rush of the moment was over, and now there was nothing but silence between them. What if the feelings weren't mutual? Now, he'd just end up pushing her away even more then before... he exhaled, slowly dropping his hands and stepping away from her a bit.

He didn't regret telling her though, no. Not one bit. Because he truly did love her, and she deserved to know that well.. she had him if she wanted him. All to herself, completely.

Leighton didn't want to know... but she had to. No... She already knew. The signs were there, even if she never saw the woman. Perhaps it was tempting to say that she wanted the woman out of his life, but she couldn't say that, or even make him do that, not now anyway. Pursing her lips, she waited for him to answer. She could feel the answer. The yes she knew that was going to fall from his lips. And when it did, she only felt the urge to cry more. Only from the fact that she was here to win him back, and she might win. No she had no doubt that she, herself, loved him, that she was in love with him, and she was not going to let the woman take him from her.

Standing there, crying silently, she heard him speak, telling her not to cry because there was nothing to worry about. His words were hard to follow because he was talking fast, but she got it. But when she heard the words I love you, her breath was taken away. Half of her was battling with the other side. Agreeing that he had chosen a poor time to tell her this. Feeling like he was only telling her that he did because he wanted to keep her here and smooth things over with the three little words. But she knew... She knew he meant it. His lips felt nice for the short moment they touched. She hated feeling like this. Weak and vulnerable.... and crying. Then the silence hit, and she felt him pull away. In her mind she was screaming no. That she wanted him to stay close to her. She was in awe, taken back, speechless. Pulling him back to her, she wrapped her arms around him tight and buried her face in his chest, still crying. "Ryan, I love you too," she said back with happiness and reassurance, "You are all I want. You are my world, perfect and amazing and it is painful to see you hurt because of me," she admitted with heavy breaths of slight excitement because she finally admitted to him something she had wanted to tell him. "I love you with all my heart, and no one and nothing is going to change that," she said as she pulled her head from his chest and kissed him passionately.